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 My father
was killed at a Civil War reenactment on the cold hills of
Gettysburg, PA. As I held his dying head (I dare say
that the heat from his blood warmed my frozen hands), I finally
understood the true meaning of comedy. Born in the Land
of Oz, Chittenango, NY, the birthplace of L. Frank Baum, author
of The Wizard of Oz, where the sidewalks are yellow, and on
a hot day you can ask your folks to take you to Oz Cream,
or go bowling at Emerald City Lanes, I grew up with laughter
all around me. But never did I understand comedy and
laughter until my father got struck in the back of the head
by a Confederate soldier's mistakenly loaded gun. I
didn't even understand it when I moved to North Carolina when
I was 17, where I went to highschool at North Mecklenburg,
nor after I graduated from the University of North Carolina
at Greensboro -- even with a degree in Funny and a minor in
Monkey Business I hadn't a clue. No, not until that
cold November day in Pennsylvania, the Union whuppin the tar
out of the Confederates like God willed it, when my dad was
at the mercy of a Southern musket ball, and he went down,
and blood in my hands, when the Confederacy won the battle
that day and never before and never after, did I learn the
serious magnitude of funny. So today, as I write from
my home in Staten Island, NY where I'm studying Creative Writing
at Rutgers University, (which is going well, thanks for asking,
and years after that when I will look into the eyes of my
newborn son or daughter (please son!) who I will take to Gettysburg,
PA to those really cool reenactments they do where I'll no
doubt be murdered just as mercilessly (if the fates are consistent,
and I know they are), now and forevermore I am graced with
the knowledge of comedy as I think back at the serious, yet
hilarious way in which my father was killed, and as he looked
at me with that fading twinkle in his eye, that one last light
that is the only thing distinguishing you from life and death,
and whispered around bubbles of scarlet brain pudding "Laugh
Kevin, 'cause this is as funny as it gets."
Also, my hobby is archery.
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